Thursday, December 20

Avery the Old Town Squirrel, tra-la-la-la-laaa...

A mutantly huge squirrel has laid siege on downtown Fort Collins.

Avery, in his ice lair and wearing his dictatorial scarf.

Going by the name of Avery, the Old Town Squirrel, the colossal rodent has taken control as some sort of dictator -- or as the Downtown Business Association is calling him, a "mascot" -- to make sure holiday events run smoothly. Avery will enforce that children behave themselves and "have fun," and that parents keep shopping in Old Town in an industrious manner. Those that disobey will be sent off to sort through Avery's underground cache of nuts, kept, ironically, in the empty basement beneath Foothills Fashion Mall.

The squirrel czar is believed to be friendly upon introduction, but reports have claimed he can snap at any moment for a variety of reasons.

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