Tuesday, March 25

Does Fort Collins need a mascot condo?

Maybe it's just me, but I've recently noticed a confusing and seemingly dangerous proliferation of mascots in Fort Collins. The situation has become messy and possibly unsafe, and it's time for the city council to take action.

This past winter, the Downtown Business Association brought us Avery the Old Town Squirrel:


Then, TransFort turned out Smart T. Fox:


And, of course, Colorado State has given us Cam the Ram:


Is this rash of mascots a big deal? I'm inclined to say yes and demand that the city pass an ordinance for a mascot "condo," where all the mascots could be kept. Is this being excessive or elitist? Absolutely not.

First, I can't even walk around Fort Collins these days without worrying about tripping over some kind of costumed character, or at least having one of them try to paint my face or give me a sticker. Assuming public safety isn't threatened by so many different mascots (and I assume it is), there is a bigger issue here: The array of mascots are confusing and, to be frank, it makes Fort Collins look like a zoo. Yes, a zoo. I said it.

How many children have been scared by these oversized beasts? How many sports fans have been misled (even by Cam)? How many jobs have they cost the city?

I don't want answers. I want a mascot-condo ordinance. Under this city law, all the mascots would have to stay in a designated area and not be able to wear different colored scarves or shirts, or to promote buses or mediocre athletics. Ideally, after awhile, the DBA, TransFort, CSU and any other entity thinking of spreading some sort of cheer will settle on a single mascot. (And, for the record, I don't care about constitutionally-protected mascot rights -- legal arguments are frivolous; we're talking about the city's prosperity here.)

Mascot condo. It's the safe, clean and smart thing to do for Fort Collins.

2 comments:

Mollita said...

Let's look at some differences here.

1. Are their 100+ of identicle mascots chained together on almost every single street corner downtown 24-7??

2. Are these mascots left dirty unmaintained, sometimes tipped over and become recepticles for trash.

3. I have never seen kids running up to hug a news rack or have their picture taken with one.

I read your paper and others and I think your collection of chained news racks throughout downtown are a disgrace they are ugly and unclean, I do enjoy whats inside them, but would rather pull my papers out of a nice clean rack than the cluttered disorder that is out there now.

Zaffos your articles are immature and your continued sour grapes over the condos is getting old.

Zaffos said...

You obviously haven't been around for the holidays when scores of children sit atop -- and sometimes inside -- Chronicle racks and tell our newspaper what presents they want. It's adorable and safe.

Also, you apparently weren't around at BrewFest when Avery the Old Town Squirrel was "dirty" and "tipped over" in the Trimble Street alley. It was icky.